Why Fight?
by LittleRock17
Summary: Spoilers for 15x24 Jo feels like she doen't want to stop. But at the same time she wants to. Why keep fighting anyways? Every time she felt happy, the Universe made sure it wasn't for a long time so, what was the point? Maybe someone like her, someone who was screwed over by the Universe all the time too, can help her with that answer. Meredith and Jo friendship.


**Hello, hello, hello! Can you believe the last episode?! I was gagging! Well, I've been wanting to write someting but I didn't want to mess with Jo's story line. Finally I got some inspiration that doesn't hurt the plot and I hope you enjoy.**

**A/N: Who else is excited for TWO MORE SEASONS?! YEAAAHHH!**

**Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy belongs to ABC and Shonda Rhimes, if I owned it Jolex would be happy 24x7**

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**Why Fight?**

Jo went to take a shower just as Meredith had suggested – she really did stink after all. As the young surgeon stripped of her clothes, all she could think of was what Meredith had just said. Meredith Grey didn't fight back then… Jo couldn't imagine such thing. The Meredith Grey she knew was scary and strong and fierce since day one, that's why the interns called her Medusa Grey. And over the years she just became even stronger, fighting for her patients, for her career and for her marriage to Dr. Shepherd. Meredith Grey knew loss, maybe not in the same way Jo did, but Meredith understood – at least – how something could break you till the point where you just want to stop. Stop hurting, stop feeling, stop fighting… But it was such a surprise to the brunette, like, if she didn't break when Derek died, what could have possibly happened back then that made her want to stop?

Jo finished her shower, her face no longer clammy with tears and sweat, her hair clean, she even brushed her teeth while in the shower knowing her breath surely must have stank. She dressed up slowly, really not wanting to go talk to Bailey and Alex but knowing she had to. Once she walked out of the bathroom she saw Mer who had already changed her clothes and was now putting on her coat.

"Are you ready?" The older woman asked, adjusting the collar of her coat.

"Not really," Jo answered as she walked towards her bed, reaching down for her shoes. "but I'll probably never be so let's get this over with."

She didn't know exactly what they were going to say to Bailey but at least they had to get her an appointment to see a psychiatrist. The brunette preferred facing that than Alex really, she feared his reaction. Not that she thought he would hate her but she didn't want to see him pity her. That would kill her.

"You're strong Jo, you can do this. Alex and I have you." The blonde reassured her with an arm around her shoulders, guiding Jo to the sliding door of the loft.

Jo picked her jacket up before leaving and closed the door behind her. From that point until they reached the car and Meredith started driving, they were silent. Jo's mind kept on spinning over what Meredith told her.

"How was it?" She suddenly asked, her head resting on her seat and her eyes looking out the window.

The general surgeon made a confused gesture and took a quick look at her co-pilot. "What?"

The fellow turned her head and sighed. "When you fell."

Meredith tightened her grip on the steering wheel unconsciously, Jo noticed. She even heard her swallow before answering her. "It was bad." The car stopped at a red light. "I guess you know my mother had Alzheimer's before she died."

"Yes." Jo confirmed.

The car started moving again. "One day I was called from the nursing home she was living," Mer started telling, "she was lucid and so I was called to tell her of her illness. She collapsed when she found out and was taken to Seattle Grace."

Jo nodded in understanding, apparently moms can be life-destroyers for a lot of people.

Meredith kept on talking. "She basically diminished my life, my career, my relationship, everything." The blonde had her eyes fixed on the road, detaching herself from the story, but it wasn't easy to do. "She told me I was ordinary, that I was wasting my life while she couldn't do anything about hers." She sighed loudly. "I left and before I could come back and tell her what I thought of her she was already gone."

"She died?" The brunette asked.

"No just… her mind was gone. Again."

"Oh…"

"Anyway, I just kept on going. She was still a patient at the hospital but I didn't see her often, George was in charge of her." Meredith smiled sadly remembering O'Malley. "Then there was a big accident, a container ship crashed into a ferry, lots of casualties and injured. Alex, Izzie, George and I along with Bailey where send at the scene. We split to cover more ground so I was alone, doing my job, triaging as many people as I could."

"I can't imagine how big the accident must have been…" Jo commented.

"It's a blur really, it happened so long ago… But I do remember this little girl, she had blonde pigtails, no," Mer closed her eyes thinking for a second, then she snapped her fingers, "she had braids. She didn't talk, I think she was still in shock. I wanted to take her to triage to get her a police officer to help her but I came across another patient who was bleeding out of his leg so I asked her to help me, handing me supplies. The patient was agitated, I tried to calm him down but he was in shock still." Mer paused, thinking about what was next. "He pushed me and I tripped. I fell into the water. I sank but I was able to emerge but… I just…" she didn't know what to say. Yes, she had already told Jo – with a lot less details – what had happened but right now it felt like she was reliving it.

After a few moments of silence, Jo encouraged her. "You just…?"

"I stopped swimming. Everything got dark after that."

"Who got you out of the water?" The fellow wondered.

"Derek… he got me to the hospital and was asked to step away and let Webber, Bailey and Burke treat me. I was down for more than an hour and even when they warmed me up I didn't have a heartbeat." Jo thought about what had happened to Dr. Kepner, she wasn't really close to the doctor but Alex was, and April had planned their wedding. Jo had been in shock. The young woman couldn't imagine what Meredith's friends went through that time, more than a decade ago. "Still, they didn't give up on me and eventually they brought me back."

"I can't… I don't…" The brunette couldn't put a sentence together.

"Yeah, I know." The general surgeon formed a tight smile. "And you would think that that was the worst thing that has happened to me, right?" She said playfully. "But nope, the Universe has a wicked sense of humor…" They were now entering the parking lot of the hospital. "Jo, there are people out there who have nothing to worry about… they've had happy lives. Then you have people like us, who have been through so much and are still standing… we struggle a lot but at the end of the day we keep fighting. And then you have people who sink and never come back." Meredith parked the car and pulled the keys out of the ignition but both women stayed in the car. "I questioned myself many times… 'Why fight?' I thought… Well, now I have an answer to that."

"What it is?" Jo looked Meredith in the eyes. She really needed to know.

"We fight for the people we love, for the people that need us." Meredith took Jo's hands between her own. "We fight because that's what we know how to do."

"But what do I do when I'm tired of fighting?" A lonely tear rolled out of the chocolate eyes of the brunette.

Mer whipped it away with the back of her hand and smiled. "You let us fight for you."

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**That was it! I really hope you liked it, let me know what you think with a review and I apologize for any typos, as always I'm writing at godforsaken hours and English is not my first language.**

**I have so many opinions about the last few episodes regarding Jo, I just love how Camilla has portrayed depression, its so good! But people are cruel and I've seen many hate post on Grey's Anatomy fan groups on Facebook that it makes me sick. I've had it, OFFICIALLY. **

**PS. I hate that Teddy is going to break Tom's heart :'(**


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